


Let The Stars Not Take Thee

by yukiscorpio



Category: Final Fantasy XV
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-30
Updated: 2018-08-30
Packaged: 2019-07-04 18:09:10
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,724
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15846621
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/yukiscorpio/pseuds/yukiscorpio
Summary: His gaze on their feet, Noctis's voice dropped to a whisper. "I was convinced you were fed up with me. Like you really hated me."It was at that moment, at the Citadel's carpark with his shirt hitched up, that clarity came to Ignis, but the most he could reply with was, "nothing could be further from the truth, Noct."Brotherhood + Main Game + Episode Ignis + Extra Verse = ?





	Let The Stars Not Take Thee

_The look on Noctis's face reminded Ignis of that time when he was over at his uncle's house. He was in the garden talking to his cousin, and then he noticed the crotch of her jeans had turned a dark red. He had stood there, not quite sure how exactly to tell her about his observation other than, "your jeans..."_

_Horror, and shame. It was nothing to be afraid or ashamed of, but that was her reaction then, and it was how Noctis looked now, surrounded by falling snow that melted the moment it touched the wooden floor, the sofa, the cushions._

_It was snowing inside Noctis's flat._

_"The electricals might get damaged, and there's nowhere for us to shovel snow to; we would have to throw it over the balcony." Ignis said by way of explanation as to why he had ushered Noctis to the fire escape stairwell. His voice echoed off the concrete. "Would that count as littering, I wonder..."_

_The words got a brief smile out of Noctis._

_"Noct, how are you feeling? Should I call someone?"_

_No reply. That meant a 'no'. It was probably wrong to even ask, as Noctis's face had turned red again, likely because Ignis had made it sound _wrong_ for it to be snowing. And if Ignis had learned anything in the past few weeks, it was that Noctis hadn't done anything wrong. The world around him had gone wrong, and in his own way, he was trying to cope._

_"I can leave you alone, if you prefer. Or call Gladio for you."_

_The temperature dropped almost immediately, and Ignis suppressed a shiver. Wrong again? But Noctis preferred Gladio over Ignis; after all, Gladio was the one he had chosen to open up to. Or perhaps Gladio was just at the right place at the right time. Ignis would like to think that. Having grown up with Noctis, played with him and learned with him and served him and loved him, it had felt like the worst betrayal that Noctis spoke about his pain to someone else._

_That, together with the struggles in the past few months, the silence, the acid-laden words, the apathy, had made it hard for Ignis to remember that Noctis was a likeable person at all. And he was trying so hard to like the friend he had grown up with. Theirs should be a lifetime of friendship and support, not cold stares and closed doors._

_"All right. Sit down, I will be back in a few minutes."_

_Ignis nipped back into the flat, and when he returned, he got Noctis to scoot over a little, and sat down, putting a tray between them. On the tray were two steaming mugs of tea, a plate of mini pastries Ignis made earlier, and two woolly hats Ignis found in a chest of drawers. Noctis squinted at the hats, snorted as Ignis donned one, and put up only slight resistance when the other was put on his head._

_A snowflake landed in Ignis's tea. It was much gentler now, not the near-blizzard in the living room earlier. It was a mercy, really. If it was fire instead of ice magic that was spilling out of Noctis, then they would be running down rather than sitting on these stairs now._

_Noctis took his tea and rested it on his knees. It seemed like he was concentrating, presumably trying to stop the snow._

_Ignis sighed theatrically, and got his mobile phone out. As Noctis narrowed his eyes suspiciously, Ignis took a picture of himself wearing the awful hat, and sent it to Noctis._

_"I won't tell anyone if you don't," said Ignis with a tone that suggested he had made a terrible decision._

_The unsolicited blackmail material made Noctis laugh, a proper laugh from the chest that Ignis only realised now he had not heard for months._

_Noctis should not have needed to reveal his emotions to Ignis. Ignis saw Noctis almost everyday. Ignis grew up with Noctis, played with him and learned with him and served him and loved him. Ignis should have noticed. If there was let down or betrayal by anyone, then it was Ignis._

_Noctis had not done anything wrong._

_The snow lessened, slowly, almost imperceptibly. Ignis's mug was empty when the last snowflake brushed its rim, but the plate of pastries was almost untouched._

_"Noct? Let's take the week off."_

 

Ignis doesn't "get" Justice Monsters V, but it does have some decent music.

They are at Crow's Nest, and he is sitting in the booth seat drinking a mediocre cup of coffee while Noctis rakes in the points on the nearest machine. There's a promotional event going on, so for beating a certain boss, the winner gets a dark red tank top with the JMV logo cross the chest. Noctis hasn't said anything, but since he doesn't wear red or tank tops, particularly tight ones, Ignis suspects it's going to be a gift for Prompto.

The door opens, the little copper bell on it jangles. "Oi, how long are you going to be?"

Noctis, not even sparing Gladio a glance, just shrugs his shoulders. Ignis puts down his drink.

"I'll wait here. You go get some sleep, Gladio."

"No, you've been driving all day," says Gladio, turning to Noctis again. "Noct, give the man a break."

"I _am_ on a break." Ignis does a shooing motion with his hand. Eventually Gladio relents and returns to the caravan they've hired for the night.

Really, some people just don't understand. A cup of coffee, a diner that's practically dead, and just the soundtrack of Justice Monsters V in the air. This is peace. Ignis rather enjoys being able to wind down before going to bed.

It takes another fifteen minutes — though he isn't sure as he has rather lost track of time — before a different track rings out of the pinball machine. He sits up and cranes his neck to take a look — Noctis has done it. Ignis gets up and raps on the staff room door, and a groggy man in a Crow's Nest uniform slinks out to hand Noctis his prize. It's hideous, Ignis thinks, but nobody's asked for his opinion.

"You should try it on," says Ignis as Noctis folds the tank top with far more care than he has for his own clothes.

Noctis gives Ignis the stink eye as he follows Ignis out. "You can try it on if you want."

"Oh, I wouldn't. It's a size S, I'd stretch the fabric."

"Fine, I'll win another one for you then."

"It's quite alright; if I wanted one I could win my own."

"As if. You suck at games."

"No I do not."

"Yeah? I remember you on _House of the Dead_. Good thing Luna's competent and doesn't need your rescuing!"

The comment makes Ignis frown until he recalls the plot of the game. "Shooting games I wasn't so good on, perhaps. But I trounced you in the racing."

"That was then. I can definitely beat you now."

"If we find a games arcade, I shall welcome a rematch."

"You're on." A soft chuckle. "Ah, good times..."

Ignis isn't sure if he would call those days "good times", but if Noctis is fond of the memory then that's wonderful.

It takes a moment for Ignis to notice that Noctis is no longer following him. "Noct?" he says, turning around, and sees Noctis standing in the middle of the concrete forecourt, with his gaze cast skywards. Ignis looks up, too — tonight is the first night with clear sky after a week of ceaseless rain, and the stars look particularly bright.

"You go. I won't be long."

As if Ignis would believe that. He shakes his head and guides Noctis to the nearest bench, and Noctis leans back into the embracing wing of a Kenny Crow statue. He moves over so that Ignis has enough space to sit down too, although once again telling Ignis to go to bed first.

"I could," Ignis mutters, and doesn't bother to finish. It is no secret that Noctis has held a fascination and a love for the stars since childhood, and Ignis had put in the effort to learn the constellations and even "escorted" his friend and charge to see the stars on numerous occasions. But even so, Ignis still doesn't share quite the same level of enthusiasm. In fact...

"It's looking pretty amazing tonight."

In fact, Ignis dreads the stars.

"Yes it is."

They sit there for a while, and Ignis watches Noctis gaze at the stars with an expression of fondness not unlike one's fondness for home.

"Specs, we can go if you're tired."

"I'm fine." Well, Ignis is quite tired. But he is not going to ask Noctis to accommodate him, nor is he willing to let Noctis sit out here on his own. What if a magitek engine shows up? What if the stars want their son back?

Noctis snorts. "I'll go on rate-my-retainer-dot-com and give you a five star review."

"Much obliged, but I'm not here as your retainer, since I haven't seen a single yen in quite a while, much less overtime pay."

"That's because we're out here now, everything's in gil."

"True, the Insomnian Yen is useless to me now."

"So are you still my retainer?"

Ignis wonders if it is a serious question. "Well, I haven't been fired yet, nor have I sued for my unpaid salary, so I suppose I still am. Either way, I have promises to keep and a friend to marry off," he says, and sits up, now with a question of his own. "You are still getting married, aren't you?"

It's a subject they haven't broached since the Crown City fell.

"I don't know. Am I?" says Noctis after a long moment. "The Treaty isn't a thing anymore. And I don't know how Luna really feels about it." 

Ignis softens his voice and puts forward another question, one that has not been asked since the engagement. "But how do _you_ feel about it, Noct?"

Noctis, as expected, doesn't reply.

Also as expected, it doesn't take Noctis long to fall asleep, cradled in Kenny Crow's fibreglass wing. It's tempting to let him sleep here, but even if Ignis is willing to stay, come tomorrow Noctis will regret it.

Ignis glances towards the caravan. He could carry Noctis, but it would be difficult to negotiate that narrow doorway without bumping Noctis's head on something.

Oh well. Best wake him up.

"Noct?"

 

_"Noct? We've arrived."_

_Noctis blinked his eyes open, looked out the window at the unfamiliar scenery, then back at Ignis in the driver's seat._

_"A town at the northern edge of the Wall," Ignis explained. "I've done some research, this area has all that we need... I hope. Come on."_

_The first thing they did was check themselves into a twin room at a bed-and-breakfast for a week._

_In the room, Noctis put his bag down, then swore in amusement and disbelief. So Ignis explained: as far as school was concerned, Noctis was away on royal engagements. As for the Citadel, they were told the Prince had gone on a school trip._

_Noctis raised an eyebrow and tipped his head to one side, unconvinced._

_All right. Ignis would love to claim to have boldly lied to the Citadel as well, but he looked up the maximum custodial sentence for kidnap and decided it was not worth the risk, so he sought His Majesty's permission to take Noctis out of school._

_"In conclusion: for the next few days, fuck school, and fuck duties."_

_"You just said 'fuck'. Twice."_

_"And?"_

_It wasn't a cure to the problems in Noctis's life, not even a quick fix, not even a plaster to a gaping wound; there was nothing Ignis could do to help. But Ignis had promised to stand by Noctis and this, he could and would do, no matter how strained their relationship had become over the past six months, no matter how much Noctis didn't want to talk about it, no matter how hard Ignis had to struggle to continue liking Noctis at all._

_It was a dark beast Noctis was fighting, Ignis could see it now, and knew its name, so they could fight it together even if he didn't know how to win._

_Undisturbed, Noctis slept for a day and a half, waking up only when a concerned Ignis decided that although the sleeping wasn't a problem, Noctis must have some form of nourishment._

_Apparently a bed full of food was very giggle-worthy. Or perhaps it was the mixed beans salad Ignis had optimistically included._

_Refuelled, Ignis tentatively suggested going out and Noctis agreed, somewhat to Ignis's surprise, though he suspected that it was out of guilt._

_Even so, after they found a games arcade with many old machines, and after watching Ignis failing to survive even just a few minutes in a zombie apocalypse, Noctis decided he had to show Ignis how it was done. Despite his expertise, it still took a large amount of coins for Noctis "Agent Thomas" Lucis Caelum and Ignis "G" Scientia to finally rescue the agent's fiancée Sophie._

_They tried their hands at every game at that arcade except for the simulation fishing, at which Noctis sneered and rolled his eyes._

_Well, Ignis knew what their next stop should be, then._

 

Noctis has texted him with the street name, and GPS manages to guide him part of the way, but Ignis would still very much like to find the person who designed Altissia's layout, grab them by the shoulders, shake them violently and ask, "why?"

On the upside, the coffees he has bought are at the right temperature to drink by the time he finds the place where Noctis has cast his line.

"How is it going?" he asks as he approaches Noctis, who half turns and accepts the coffee.

"Thanks. Not even a bite."

Ignis looks around; there's nothing for him to sit on, so he stands next to Noctis and peers into the water. Maybe there is no fish at this spot.

"Excellent work at the Summit today; winning Accordo's support is no small feat."

"Thanks." 

"I'm..." Ignis wonders if it's his place to say this, "very proud of you."

The words do earn him a weird look. Noctis then turns away. "Hmm. How did the meeting with Claustra's team go?"

"We have the evacuation figured out, I think."

"Confident?"

"Up to a point." It is what will happen to Noctis and the Oracle that Ignis is most concerned about. He understands that compromises had to be made in the negotiation, but leaving Noctis to face Leviathan by himself? The idea makes Ignis feel sick to the stomach.

But he really doesn't want to talk about it right now. 

"It will be good to see Lady Lunafreya finally."

"Yeah."

"Hmm, I best get your raiment ironed; we can't have you looking like a crumpled mess next to the lady in her beautiful gown—"

"Hey, that's not tomorrow."

"—although you often look like you've been dragged through a hedge backwards anyway."

"Yeah? And whose responsibility is it? Thought it's the chamberlain's job to keep me looking princely and perfect."

"Well, when the raw material is so raw, one can only do so much."

"Wow, who drank your Ebony? I'd expect that from Gladio, not you."

Indeed, that's too far. In a bid to hide his nerves Ignis has overdone the banter. "Ah, no... my apologies." Ignis takes a good long drink of his coffee. "I don't really mean that."

"Really?"

"Noct, you know I don't mean it."

Noctis steals a look at Ignis. "You're so tense. What's up, Specs?"

"I just... think that I should be there when you face the Hydrean tomorrow."

"It'll be fine; I've got Titan and Ramuh."

And Lady Lunafreya, also. Indeed, what is there that Ignis can do that the Oracle and the gods cannot? "I understand."

"Don't worry about it okay? I'm going to be fine."

Three days later, Ignis wakes up to pain, and darkness.

But Noctis is fine. As long as Noctis is fine.

 

_The rain came as swiftly as a Kingsglaive's khukuri, the unforecasted deluge catching Ignis and Noctis by complete surprise. By the time they made it back to Ignis's car, shelter had become pointless as they were both soaked to the bone._

_Back at the bed-and-breakfast, Noctis handed over his catch to the owner — much to the gentleman's amusement — then he was herded by Ignis to their room, and told to have a shower and get warmed up._

_While Ignis waited for his turn, the room's phone rang. The owner wanted to invite Ignis and Noctis to dinner later, since they provided some rather excellent fish. Ignis, unsure how Noctis would feel about this, told the owner he would reply later, as his companion seemed quite tired._

_"Noct?" he knocked on the bathroom's door. He couldn't hear the shower; perhaps Noctis was in the bath. "Mr. Rocca is asking if we'd like to join him and his wife for dinner."_

_No reply._

_"Noct? You haven't fallen asleep in the bath have you?"_

_A soft, from-the-back-of-the-throat sort of sound filtered through the door, and genuinely Ignis couldn't tell if it meant "I'm fine" or "I'm drowning"._

_It was an odd breeze across Ignis's bare feet, the typical humid heat of a bathroom followed by a freezing wind through the gap under the door, that clued Ignis in. He knocked again._

_"May I come in?"_

_"Specs I... you're amazing and I had a really good time today."_

_"I had fun too. Let's go back tomorrow if the weather improves."_

_"Yeah, okay."_

_Ignis went to retrieve a potion from his jacket pocket. "Noct, either you come out, or I'll start breaking in."_

_A choked laugh. "I haven't got any pants on! Wait a minute!"_

_Ignis waited, and the door did open after a moment. The bathroom was shrouded in freezing fog. A dressed Noctis emerged from it, his eyes not meeting Ignis's._

_"Apologies; I was worried." Perhaps suggesting that he would barge in was a wrong thing to do, but for a second Ignis thought Noctis could be doing some kind of self harm._

_"I know. Don't look, okay? I'll be fine in a sec."_

_"Come on, sit down."_

_"Don't look."_

_Right. Ignis pushed an ottoman over to Noctis's bed and sat, facing away, as Noctis settled down. If Noctis didn't want him to look, then he wouldn't. And he understood why. Boys were strong. Boys did not cry, boys were not allowed to cry, and princes never shed icy, magic tears that froze the world around them._

_Ignis disagreed with those ideas with every fibre of his being, but if Noctis wasn't comfortable with him, felt his wishes were being disrespected, then it would be impossible for Ignis to help him._

_"Was it something I said?"_

_"No. Today was great. Honest." A pause. "Sorry. I don't want to be like this."_

_"Don't be sorry. Just talk to me. Please."_

_Another pause. "I was thinking about what an amazing day we had. And then about how you arranged everything and took me out here, and then about how much_ work _I am and maybe you hate me but you're stuck with me—"_

_"That's not true. You know that's not true."_

_"And then I felt bad for thinking that way and..."_

_Ignis sat up a little. "May I give you a hug?"_

_"Huh?"_

_"I won't look, I promise."_

_Ignis reached around him and felt for the edge of Noctis's mattress. He climbed on, his eyes still closed, and shuffled forward on his knees until he felt Noctis tentatively reaching for him. He wound his arms around Noctis, gentle but firm._

_"Ignis?"_

_"It's all right. I'm not looking. I can't see you."_

_The temperature around them dipped._

_"There are ways to make it better. When we get home, let me take you to a doctor. Please trust me."_

_"Um..."_

_"I know things are hard right now. But you will be fine."_

_Noctis's response was a tightening of his arms._

 

Noctis is fine, Ignis has been told.

Four steps after the door, turn left, and then it's three steps to the ottoman besides Noctis's bed, just as Gladio says. Ignis has already done this once before, but without vision, every step feels just as difficult as the last.

"The transport will be ready in about three hours. First Minister Claustra sends her regards; she won't be able to see us off."

"Hmm."

"Is there anything I can do for you?"

"...Luna's wedding dress."

"You want me to wear it?"

"Funny."

Ignis sighs. "I've already enquired. It was put away for safekeeping before the Covenant. They plan to put it back on display... as a memorial. If you want it—"

"No. The people need it more than me."

"I could get it for you. Well, get Prompto to get it for you."

"No, it's alright."

"Is there anything else?"

A long silence. Ignis bites his lower lip and waits. He hears Noctis shift.

"I don't know where you'd get it from."

"Try me, Noct."

"...Meds?"

The anti-depressants Noctis had taken for three years before being signed off. It's been a long time since then, but it's a relief to know that Noctis is aware that things in his head are going south and wants to do something about it.

"I have two months' supply in my luggage."

Silence again, and then a snort.

"Of course you do."

"Of course."

"Sometimes I wonder if you opened your jacket if you'd have loads of pockets inside, filled with stuff. 'Would anyone like to purchase some drugs? I have potions, ethers, antidotes...'"

"I worry that the muscle stimulants and flesh fortifiers might give people the wrong idea."

Noctis is laughing. "Holy crap, Ignis!"

"But I keep those inside the lining of my jacket. For emergencies."

"Don't you dare say 'like your wedding night'."

"You said it, not me."

Something hits Ignis on the head. Just a pillow, it turns out, but without visual warning, it takes him by complete surprise and he nearly falls off his seat.

"Shit! Are you okay?"

Ignis frowns, adjusts his sunglasses, and tries to look as indignant as possible. "Even Ardyn didn't manage to kill me, yet I just nearly got thwacked to death with a cushion."

"Sorry, sorry."

"Oh well, what's another concussion..."

"Are you being serious, because I'm actually really worried here!"

Disadvantage of not being able to see. "Of course not. But," Ignis raises a hand to shield his head, just in case, "don't do that again."

There is some kind of indecipherable mumbling, and Ignis guesses his hair must have been messed up in a funny way, because Noctis is cackling now, getting louder as Ignis checks his own hair, sighs and just tries to sweep it all back.

Then the laughter chokes, and dies, and the heat drains from the room. Reflexively Ignis tips his chin up, only just managing to stop himself from holding out a hand to find out if it is snowing.

Noctis groans in clear frustration. "Why's this still happening..."

Ignis doesn't know what to say. "If it helps: I'm not looking."

" _Fuck._ "

"Too soon?" Ignis asks. "Noct, are you sure about the wedding dress? We could at least go see it one last time before we leave."

"No I... I just wanted something of hers, but I've got our notebook, so it's fine."

"All right."

"I didn't want to get married, Specs." 

Oh. "No?"

"I thought you knew."

"I had no idea. You never said."

"Cos I was planning to go through with it, so what's the point in complaining? We could've become a symbol of peace like Gladio said, and yeah I want to be that. But I didn't want to get married."

"I see..."

"Do you?"

Ignis pretended to be offended. "Noct."

"What, too soon?"

No answer. But he hears fabric shifting, the creak of the bedframe, and jumps only a little when a hand rests on his shoulder.

He allows himself to lean into Noctis's embrace.

"Noct, I can't believe I've neglected to say it, but I am sorry about Lady Lunafreya."

" _You_ are sorry."

"I should have—"

"No." Noctis sinks onto his knees. "You were worried about the Covenant. I told you I'd be fine because I had the gods by my side. But I should've listened to you. If you were with me, maybe this wouldn't have happened! What was I even thinking? I had Titan and Ramuh, you guys were the ones in the most danger! Yeah, I'm fine, but you, and Luna... this is my fault..."

Ignis draws a shuddering breath. Oh, Noctis. "It's not. I made my own choices," he says, and adds, keeping his voice soft, "don't argue with me about this, please. And yes I am sorry about the Oracle, even the future king cannot stop me."

"Then you can't stop me from being sorry either."

Sighing a little, Ignis reciprocated the hug, clinging onto Noctis's warmth in the now freezing room. "Fine."

"My turn to ask: is there anything I can do for you?"

The first thought that comes to Ignis is: don't die.

If that vision the Oracle's messenger gave him was a glimpse of the future, then it is a future Ignis does not want.

Ignis would let no man, god, nor star, take Noctis away like that.

"Just don't try to shoulder everything on your own," he says. "And eat more vegetables."

"I hate you."

 

_Noctis handed the phone back to Ignis._

_"Your Majesty... yes, tomorrow around six o'clock in the evening, traffic-permitting... of course, I'll take Noct straight to you then... ah, I think I best eat with my family too, so thank you for the invitation but..." There was the sound of a bell, and Ignis was vaguely aware that he'd followed Noctis inside a shop. "Yes, Sire. See you soon."_

_When he put the phone away, tuning his attention back to the surroundings, the distinctive buzzing sound told him where he was even before he saw the drawings and photographs on the wall. He had been to this kind of shop once before, out of curiosity, to watch Gladio get his chest inked._

_Noctis, at the far end of the long, narrow shop, was studying a price list on the wall. Ignis went over to look — piercings, not tattoos. Earlobe, conch, tragus and other conventional piercings were always available, with booking required for dermal and genital work._

_"I'm going to get one," Noctis announced, giving Ignis a sidelong glance._

_It was obviously a test. "What kind?" Ignis asked as he tried to work out a way to pass. If he brought the Prince of Lucis back home with a new decoration on his septum, there would be Serious Consequences. And even if Ignis was willing to face said consequences, Noctis would then feel guilty about it, although he was unlikely to be thinking that far ahead right now._

_Or maybe it was less of a test than Ignis had thought, because Noctis looked at the price list again, and decided, "navel."_

_An old-fashioned choice, and navel piercings carried certain connotations, but it was a location that could be concealed under clothing. A safe, private rebellion._

_"Navel? Are you sure?" Ignis got his phone out again._

_"Are you calling my dad?"_

_"Just checking to make sure this establishment is licensed," Ignis smiled, enjoying the clear, delighted surprise on Noctis's face._

_That task done, they went to the reception desk, and Ignis paid for two navel piercings._

_"Two." Noctis repeated, his eyebrows arched. "Are you getting one too?"_

_"If you don't mind?"_

_"I don't but... are you sure?"_

_"Of course I am. Or are you going to call my parents?"_

_Perhaps he should have given this a bit more thought, but when he stood in front of the mirror with Noctis afterwards, their shirts rolled up so that they could see and giggle over their new cheesy body jewellery, Ignis found that he didn't really care. He might still regret it later, but that was Later Ignis's problem._

_Later Ignis's problem? Oh, holy hell, what was Noctis doing to him?_

_Later Ignis, it turned out, didn't regret getting the piercing, but did worry about it being noticed. He would have to stick to coloured or patterned shirts, and nothing too tight. By the time the weather was warm enough for swimming, if anyone spotted it he would just have to shrug and say he had always had it._

_On the journey back to central Insomnia, Noctis seemed subdued, but relaxed, which was all Ignis could hope for._

_They headed straight to the Citadel carpark, so that Noctis could join his father for dinner._

_"I'm going to see my folks first, then I'll swing by your flat to drop your bags off." Ignis frowned when Noctis twisted around to reach for something in the backseat. "Hmm?"_

_The confusion continued through Noctis taking two vials of potions from Ignis's jacket, getting them both out of the car, lifting Ignis's shirt and then carefully removing the barbell. He cracked a potion over it, so that the skin healed up right away. Then he did the same for himself._

_He put the two little pieces of stainless steel in Ignis's hand._

_"Thanks."_

_Ignis didn't know what to say. "Anytime."_

_His gaze on their feet, Noctis's voice dropped to a whisper. "I was convinced you were fed up with me. Like you really hated me."_

_It was at that moment, at the Citadel's carpark with his shirt hitched up, that clarity came to Ignis, but the most he could reply with was, "nothing could be further from the truth, Noct."_

_"I'll see a doctor; I don't want to be like this anymore."_

_"I'll arrange it for you." Ignis adjusted his clothes. "And talk to me anytime you need. You don't need to pretend, or say that everything is fine when it's not. Never forget that I'm on your side; we will fight it together."_

_Noctis chuckled. "What, are you going to say we're a team now?"_

_Ignis pulled a disgusted face. "Don't start coming up with team names. Go, your father is waiting."_

_Then Noctis was gone, leaving Ignis to come to terms with the realisation that for a long time, even during those difficult months when he couldn't understand Noctis's behaviour, even when he thought he didn't like Noctis, he was very much in love with him._

 

Noctis does need Shiva's blessing, but the god certainly is not concerned that the King of Kings might freeze to death before he even meets her.

"So much for Providence."

"Hmm?"

Ignis starts. Has he said that out loud? "Just surprised that even as a corpse the Glacian is still this powerful. We must be close."

"Uh... yeah."

Ah, perhaps this isn't entirely the Glacian's handiwork.

Since leaving the Cartanica mines, the tension between Noctis and Gladio has eased somewhat, but Ignis isn't certain if they are simply acting nice for his benefit. He hopes not; they are heading directly towards Noctis's death, this is not the time to treat each other the way they have done.

At least for Noctis, Ignis understands the reason. He has experienced the power of that ring, and he knows that Noctis is adjusting to his medication, and not feeling right physically or emotionally because of it.

Gladio doesn't know. Noctis doesn't want anyone else to know. Ignis believes that is a mistake but he has to respect Noctis's wishes.

Ignis stifles a yawn; perhaps this is his chance. He picks up his cane. "I'd like to go to bed. Which way is it?"

"Down behind... I'll go with you, I wanna sleep too."

"All right. Good night, Gladio. Don't stay up too late."

Gladio replies with a mumbled "yeah just one more chapter", followed by the sound of a turning page. Noctis leads the way and Ignis follows the footsteps until they get to the sleeper cabin.

"Do you think... Gladio knows?"

Ignis feels for the bed frame, then carefully sits down, setting aside his cane. The metal creaks like a tortured animal. "Unlikely. But even if he does, would that be a problem? I think the understanding will make you both feel better."

Another creak. Noctis must have sat down also. "I don't want to give excuses. He's right. I'm a disgrace."

Ignis directs some very unfriendly thoughts towards Gladio. "Noct—"

"What did he mean when he said you took one for me?"

This was not the direction Ignis has hoped this conversation would go. "He was just upset and didn't mean any of the things he said."

"You told me you saw Ardyn's magitek engine head towards the altar, then you passed out. You were lying were you? Cos the other day you said even Ardyn didn't manage to kill you. You were at the altar, and you shielded me or did something equally crazy selfless and lost your eyes."

Damn, Ignis hasn't even realised he'd slipped up before. "It's not like that."

"Have I ever done anything useful? I pushed Prompto off a moving train! He's probably dead! You can just say it. Call me useless. Gladio does, and he's just telling the truth! You're allowed to hate me, you don't owe me anything. "

"I don't hate you."

"I cost you your _eyes_. You hate me!"

Ignis can already feel it, but he pulls off his gloves to check anyway. It's snowing heavily. Noctis's mind is caught in a downward spiral, and Ignis tries to remember what he did, a few years ago, that helped his friend believe he was wanted.

"My wallet. Could you get it for me? And my sewing kit."

Ignis can only imagine that Noctis must feel confused, but he retrieves the items for Ignis anyway. Ignis opens his wallet's coin compartment and feels around. There they are.

"I need your help with something. Look inside the sewing kit and find the darning needle."

"What the hell is a darning needle?"

"It's the biggest needle inside."

"Found it. Wow it's huge."

"Now give me your hand," he asks, and when Noctis does, he presses the trinkets he has been keeping in his wallet into Noctis's palm. "Please put one of these on me."

It takes a moment for Noctis to form a reply with a slightly trembling voice. "You kept them."

"They're my lucky charms."

"If they are, they aren't very good..."

"That's because I wasn't wearing them."

"You want me to poke your bellybutton with the fat needle and then put the bar in."

"Well, putting it like that takes all the magic out of it, but yes." Ignis lifts up his shirt, loosens his belt so that he can push the top of his trousers lower.

"Maybe you really are just crazy."

"Maybe. If you won't help me then I'll do it myself."

It takes more coercing. Noctis saying that he doesn't know what he's doing, saying it's going to hurt, saying that Ignis is going to bleed. Ignis just smiles and tells Noctis it is literally just a prick of the needle.

The air whistles, icy wind whipping through the closed room. It tickles, when Noctis puts his hand on Ignis's skin. The pain that follows is sharp, and gets worse when Noctis tries to force the bar through, but Ignis honestly has had much worse, and the satisfaction, the thrill when it is done overrides everything.

"I can't believe I just did that."

The wind drops.

Ignis reaches down to feel it. Oh, he is bleeding quite a bit. "Thank you, it feels wonderful."

"You better not be lying, cos I'm going to put the other one on myself now."

Ignis knows it is done when Noctis starts laughing.

"This is so stupid," he says. "Look at us! What was I thinking back then?"

"Next time your brain tries to tell you I hate you, remember I am wearing a stupid bar in my navel for you."

"Ignis..."

Ignis straightens himself. "With us both bleeding, I think we can spare a potion from our limited supply, do you agree?"

Ignis tugs out a potion from his jacket, and Noctis takes it from him, leaning close enough for Ignis to feel his breath. He holds himself still, refrains from getting any closer. He hears the cracking of the bottle, the familiar tingling when the healing power showers over him. His skin heals, fixing the piercing in place, presumably doing the same for Noctis too.

Then Ignis feels the warmth of lips pressed briefly against his own.

Noctis...

"I..."

"Noct?"

"Sorry, I shouldn't have done that."

"It's okay."

"It's not. You can't just forgive me all the time. That wasn't okay."

The snow turns into a blizzard. Ignis pulls Noctis closer to himself. If Noctis likes him, wants him, even just a little, then that's good enough. Like daylight, joy and comfort are too scarce these days, and Ignis is already trapped in darkness.

"Do you remember," Ignis draws a deep breath, then lets it out, imagines it misting in the air, "what we said in the carpark that day? When we got home after that week-long trip?"

"...yeah. I said I thought you hated me, and you told me you didn't."

"No. I said: nothing could be further from the truth." Ignis reaches up, brushes a few strands of hair away from Noctis's eyes. "So, what you just did — would you please do it again?"

Noctis's kisses are sweeter and more tender than Ignis has imagined, when he allowed himself to imagine. There is still so much about Noctis to know, to discover.

But they're running out of time.

It all quiets down once more, Noctis's magic no longer wreaking havoc. Something falls over with a clatter — Ignis's cane, perhaps pushed over by a stray elbow — and the sound makes them jump apart like guilty children, then cackle like children too.

Ignis can't hear anything apart from the movement of the train.

"I can't read your face, so please give me something to go on."

"Uh..."

"Was that all right?"

"Yeah," says Noctis immediately, the smile evident in his voice. "Yeah. Very. You?"

"Apart from feeling my heart is about to leap out of my chest? I agree with you."

"Ignis." A hand touches Ignis's face, fingertips gently resting on his cheek. "Once we get the Crystal, I'll use it to fix your eyes.

What? "I don't think—"

"It brings Light. Or I can bring Light with it, Gentiana wasn't very clear about it. Either way, if I'm really some kind of saviour, then the least I can do is save the ones I love."

That isn't part of the gods' design, and Ignis does not want to make unfulfillable plans. "Priorities, Noct."

"My priority is for you to be able to see me when you kiss me." Noctis lowers his hand, and his voice too. "And if you actually have to look me in the eye, maybe you'd stop lying to me."

Ignis falls silent. He knows Noctis well, but the reverse is true too.

"Hey. I remember what else you said in the parking lot. You said I don't have to pretend and I can tell you anything, and we'll fight together. So I want to do that for you too, unless you think I'm useless and won't be able to help..."

"Now that's just unfair."

"I know right, you aren't being fair."

Goodness. Noctis is right, of course he is, but how is Ignis supposed to tell Noctis that his death is predestined, that he was born to die?

Ignis is determined to fight this fate. Noctis will live, and still bring back the Light. No doubt Noctis will be willing to make the sacrifice, but he shouldn't do so without first exhausting all other options. Will Ignis be able to save Noctis while denying Noctis the knowledge he needs to not simply let the currents snatch him away?

"Ignis, come on." Noctis kisses Ignis again, lightly on the lips. "We're a team. Don't shoulder everything yourself."

Could it be that the Oracle's messenger showed Ignis that vision for a reason?

"That day in Altissia, I rushed back towards the altar as the Hydrean raged, and magitek engines arrived..."

It takes a while for Ignis to go through it all, putting emphasis on his vision from Pryna rather than his ordeal in the hands of Ardyn and Noctis's ancestors. Even so, by the time he is done, he can hear Noctis discreetly snivelling.

"You want to fight the gods."

"I will fight what they have planned for you. They have no grasp on the value of a life, and yet demands it as a sacrifice. However this all started, it is not your duty to fix it. You've done nothing wrong and I won't let them make you pay that price."

Noctis sniffs again. "And the ring did this to you. My ancestors took your eyesight."

"That was my own choice. Noct—"

"Yeah? And it's _their choice_ to burn your eyes out for trying to save me!" Noctis shouts, his voice breaking with every word. "Why must you pay a price just to do a good thing? They did it to Dad for holding up the Wall, and now they've done it to you. Why are they all so obsessed with _sacrifice_? It's so unnecessary! If they thought you weren't ready to give up everything then what, they'd just let me die? Then there'd be no one to fulfill their stupid plans and we all lose!"

The same thoughts have crossed Ignis's mind. "I don't know. And there wasn't any time to reason or bargain with them."

Noctis draws a few deep breaths and tries to calm himself. "I'm not really asking. Sorry I yelled. Shit. And it's snowing again too. Sorry. I'm okay."

"Boys don't cry." Ignis reaches forward blindly, somehow grasping one of Noctis's wrists, "but boys have yet to learn many things. You are a man and a king, Noct. You are allowed to shed as many tears as you want, so long as you stand tall and keep moving forward."

"I think I'm going to need you to keep reminding me."

"Gladly. And will you defy the gods and the stars, so that I may keep reminding you for years to come?"

"Yeah. We'll find a way. I mean, I'll do it if I must, but, it feels like they're deliberately tricking me into it," Noctis says with another sniff. "Fuck 'em. And fuck school, fuck duties."

The words seem to have come from nowhere, but they sound familiar, somehow, then Ignis remembers.

"I did say that once before."

"We have a new version now: fuck school, fuck duties, fuck the gods."

"...Perhaps not the gods."

"Destiny then?"

"Yes, we'll fuck that.°

 

\---

 

"Not yet, Noct."

"What now?"

"Come back here."

Noctis pulls a face, but sits down and lets Ignis get on with what he thinks is an essential task.

"Something caught my eye when we parked up earlier."

"Yeah?"

"There's a retro games arcade behind the shops," Ignis says as he works on Noctis's back. "They might have _Daytona_ and _House of the Dead_."

"Wow, are those _retro_ now? And you're on!" Noctis turns his head around. "Done? Switch, I'll do you."

"Will you, now."

Noctis's face turns an interesting shade of pink, and that just calls to be kissed.

Their friends return from the stores with drinks and snacks just when they are ready to go. As Noctis throws a casual ice spell over the ice lollies, Ignis hands his bottle of sunscreen to Prompto.

"Don't forget to do your ears and the back of your feet, and reapply every couple of hours."

Prompto puts down his drink and accepts the bottle. "You never change."

"I don't see the need to."

The sun beats down on Ignis the moment he steps out of the parasol, so bright he pauses in his tracks and squints.

"Chop chop Ignis!"

"On my way—"

"Hey! Is that..." Just as they are about to head for the water, Prompto calls out and stops them. He is slathered excessively in sun protection. Then again, he does look like the type who burns easily. "Since when have you guys got your bellybuttons pierced?"

Noctis, saying nothing, looks to Ignis, essentially handing the question over. Well.

"Since a long time ago," Ignis tells Prompto. "Right, Noct?"

"Yeah. Had it forever." With a fond smile, Noctis looks down at his piercing, just visible above the waistband of his swimming trunks. "I love it."

Apparently that was all the information Prompto is going to get, because after that, Noctis gestures for Ignis, then suddenly takes off, kicking up sand behind him. "Race you to the water, winner gets to not eat veg for a week!"

"You cheeky... Noct!" Ignis chases behind. "the terms don't count unless all participants have agreed to them!"

"That's what losers say!"

Despite Noctis's head start, thanks to having longer legs Ignis manages to catch up, nearly running straight into Noctis at the edge of the water. Noctis just laughs and laughs and laughs.

"I guess we both win."

"That's not how racing works."

"Hey, I set the rules. I'm the king."

"And I stop you from making bad decisions. I'm your advisor."

"Are you? I've not paid you a single yen or gil yet."

Noctis has a point. "In that case," Ignis pretends to nudge the glasses he is not wearing, "I suppose you can do whatever you want."

"Cool. Then for this weekend, fuck duties. After swimming I'm going to annihilate you at the arcade, then when it gets dark I'm going to take you to look at the stars with me and I _will_ convince you that they're awesome."

"How romantic."

"I know right?"

Of course Noctis knows that Ignis has never been as deeply into astronomy as Noctis himself. Why did Ignis ever think he could have fooled him?

But this time, Ignis thinks he may be able to enjoy the night sky finally. Noctis is still here, the stars have lost their chance to snatch him away.

"Go on then, I'm ready to be romanced."


End file.
